Archive for January, 2011

She’s 97 but she drives like a 16-year old who just got their license. Trust me on this. A few years ago, we were heading to a restaurant and she offered to let us follow her car (she drove). Within 30 seconds of pulling out of the parking lot, I lost her. She was going 65mph on local streets, swerving in and out of traffic. I felt like I was watching “Fast and Furious–The Grandma edition”. She’s ridiculous. She can balance herself on one foot while tying her shoes on the other. I’m 24-years-old and I can’t even do that without almost falling over. She is full of life and has the energy of any child.
Except that day.
You see, she was the closest person to our grandpa. My grandpa was a pretty quiet man who kept to himself a lot. However, when he was with her, they would chat up a storm in Japanese. The cousins and I call her “Japanese girlfriend” because she was always with him and we don’t actually know her name. She didn’t come to the funeral. We saw her drive by but she didn’t show. When she met us later for lunch, she explained that she couldn’t bear to watch our grandpa be buried. She sat quietly during lunch. Her usual banters were gone. You could tell her mind was somewhere else. I didn’t cry today at the funeral but I cried when I watched her today at lunch. To see others in that much pain is something I can’t bear to watch.

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Pretty accurate

Click to enlarge

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Pretty much sums it up

Saw this on my friend’s blog yesterday and it perfectly summed up exactly how I’ve been feeling for a while.

There’s so much I want to do, so much I want to learn, and so many people I want to encounter.

But through all of this, maybe what I really need to be doing is slow down and let my soul stand still for a while.


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The little things

(via Nguyendows.net)

This past weekend was chock-full of family activities and while it was good to see family members again, it was mentally and physically exhausting.

One of my highlights from this weekend involved a close friend, some cappuccino and tea, and a 1.5 hours of catching up on each other’s lives. It was simple, low-key and exactly what I needed. It gave me some clarity on the important things in life. It made me appreciate those who continue to stay in my life, not because of proximity, but because of the quality of our friendship. It made me even more grateful to have these people in my life.

But most of all, it gave me what I had been craving most for the past 1.5 months: quality girlfriend time.

Friend, I know you’re reading this. You really did make my day.


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See you later

I knew this day would eventually come. Today, the first of my grandparents passed away (I had a grandma who passed away before I met her so that doesn’t count). Exactly one year ago (minus aday), my dog passed away. Not to sound heartless but is it odd that I cried for my dog and I haven’t cried for my grandpa yet?

To be fair, my grandpa lived a long 95 years. He was healthy and fortunate to pass away from simply being too old. My dog was also healthy and fortunate enough to pass away from simply being too old. The last time I saw my grandpa was back in March and even then, I knew it was most likely the last time I’d ever see him. I’m sure at some point, it’ll really hit me that I won’t be able to see my grandpa again but it brings me peace knowing it wasn’t an out-of-nowhere death.
Growing up, he lived with us so I will always credit many of my childhood memories to him. He was a quiet man who watched over us but also gave us our space. His home was flooded with pictures of all his grandchildren. He always hoped that one of us would get married soon so he could attend our wedding. He rarely smiled or laughed but whenever he did, you felt a sense of pride knowing that you made him smile or laughed.
I hope that I will be fortunate like him, live a long and healthy life, and die because of natural causes. He will be missed.



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Winding down

(via Millnm)

My office is 1.5 miles away from my home. Needless to say, this has been the best commute of my working life. However, there is a downside. I miss that winding down time between work and home. I miss getting into the car, zoning out and listening to some good music to help me transition from work life to home life. I know that’s something petty to complain about especially when I have such a great commute but the thing is, I always mentally bring work home with me. There isn’t enough time in the drive to mentally check out of one focus and check in to another. Both work life and home life have started to merge so much that I can’t even tell the difference anymore. Everywhere that I go for lunch during work are the same places I venture to during the weekend. Sometimes, during the weekend, I’ll forget that I’m not at work because of that mental checkout.

I definitely don’t miss traffic jams but I do miss being able to mentally switch gears. The two minute drive just doesn’t give me enough time to do that.

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Every year, I make resolutions that are broken within the first week (or even day) of the New Year. This year, I’ll keep it simple and vague because frankly, it’ll be easier to keep when it’s not so specific.

This year, I will…

  • Try not to stress out so much (about work). Everything always works out in the end anyway.
  • Take care of my body and health better. Eating less junk food and (possibly) working out more.
  • Make a conscious effort to spend more time with family and friends. I need to stop being so lazy at home.
  • Stop talking the talk and actually move to SF(Liz, you with me?!). The only and biggest thing holding me back right now is my non-existent commute. 2 min. drive to work baby!
  • Pray more.
  • Have a more cheerful attitude.
  • Keep this blog alive as best as I can.


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