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Archive for November, 2010

“Like” in extremes

When I like something, I really like it. Whether it’s for a week or a month, whatever catches my eye at that moment will mentally take over and become a priority. It’s kind of sad. Here’s what I mean:

1. Songs I like. When I hear a song I really like, it’ll suddenly be on repeat for the entire week. The latest song to catch my ear? “Rocketeer” by Far East Movement. It’s been less than 24 hours and according to my iTunes, I’ve already listened to it 31 times. Yeah.

2. Food cravings. Over the summer, I discovered the wonderful taste of sweet (raw) shrimp. After a friend took me to get some, I craved it so much that I ended up getting it 4 more times that same week (all at four different restaurants). I also have a big oyster craving; it’s been going strong for three years now.

3. A good story. When something funny happens, I unconsciously decide that I need to incorporate that story into my conversation with every single person I meet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told, “You told me this already”. Just covering my bases man.

 

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Weekend story

This epitomizes how I feel if you substitute alcohol with food. But this probably applies to 95% of the population.

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Photo credit: http://www.sxc.hu/profile/bizior

The first step to recovery is admitting that I have a problem.

I’m finishing my third week at my new job and it’s been crazy, to say the least, but in a good way. I feel like I’ve woken up in the middle of nowhere and I’m trying to orient myself with where I am, who I’m with, and what I’m suppose to be doing. In a sense, that’s how this job has been. It’s been exciting, crazy, overwhelming and I’m still trying to navigate my way through it and find my place in it.

This past week, I took two personality tests: Myer’s Brigg and the DISC personality test. Long story short, I jokingly got labeled the “no feelings” one in my team. This is funny because I feel like my personality test results only reflect who I am at work and not who I am with my friends (although I’m sure some of them might think this is pretty accurate too haha).

Here’s what stood out to me. One of my results said that although I was focused on details, my potential weak spot was not being able to trust others. My distrust would lead me to doing it all on my own so I could make sure it was done correctly.

This made me sound cold. And mean. And I disregarded it was “just a results test, it’s not that accurate.”

I was wrong.

This entire week was stressful because I wouldn’t allow myself to trust my team. I would re-adjust billable hours to make it fit with our budget and I’d constantly be stressing if they came in early and left late because I’d have to monitor their stuff. I wasn’t allowing myself to trust them to get their stuff done on time and within budget. Sure, I can use the excuse that it’s my first project here and I want to make a good impression. But I also need to be a team player and look out for my team. It’s still that awkward beginning stage where you’re trying to engage everyone and figure out each other’s dynamics but this is something I need to have us do together, not just on my own.

Anyway, I found this funny because this whole problem turned out to be exactly what my results test told me was my potential weak spot and I chose to ignore it until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. What struck me more is that I started thinking about all the times I was stressed out, at work or at home. So much of it was unnecessary. It ended up boiling down to the fact that I didn’t trust others as much as I thought I did because I would stress over thoughts like “I hope they showed up like they said they would.” I need to change my mindset. I need to learn how to trust others better. Here’s to hoping I can change my mindset and actually be a team player instead of trying to play the game all by myself.

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Thankful

I haven’t been very good with maintaining this blog, and in recent weeks, it’s gone from occasional posts to almost nothing at all. Hopefully I can find some time soon to dish out one of the 24 blog drafts I have sitting in my folder.

In the meantime, I just want to say how grateful I am in how God has blessed me in the past few months. New opportunities, new friends, new lessons, new challenges, etc. I’m thankful for my friends who see more potential in me than I see in myself. I’m thankful for the endless support I get.

Sometimes, it takes stepping back to really see all that you have been given. I’m thankful for that and for what I’ve been blessed with.

That’s all.

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(via Fubiz)

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